Monday, November 15, 2010

Jellyfish

Last night I had a terrible nightmare about one of my best friend in high school. In my dream I was looking into her picture and thought, “oh, it’s been such a long time since the last time I saw her.” Then suddenly the picture talked to me, “the doctor only cut my right hand. I still have the left hand.” I was like, “geez... it’s true, I don't see her right hand in the picture.” Then still in my dream I made a conclusion, that she suffered from bone cancer, just like her mother who had one of her arm amputated and even so still passed away (which is true in the real life).

I was still in a trance when the memory came to me. That’s why I can still remember the dream vividly. And after I fully woke up my mind continued wondering on extended thoughts.

It must be unimaginably frightening to be in a situation where someone tells you that part of your body should be amputated.
Just recently I heard some news about a friend who is also suffering from a cancer on his head. Then I thought… (even though I know how stupid and heartless it is, but still it came to my mind) maybe it’s better to have the head amputated because then without the brain, one cannot feel the fear and the sorrow in his heart anymore.
Ahh, OK...OK… this is such an extreme and illogical thinking.
But I just want to blurt out my perplexed mind of a weird connection between brain and heart in creating and sensing the emotions.
I mean, we can really sense an actual painful squeeze at heart when we're in despair, or find it hard to breath for an expanding heart when we're too excited. Right? Though without brain as the mastermind, heart won't be able to get in touch with emotion; still people associate emotion with the heart and not with the brain: "broken heart", "lighthearted", "hati yang berbunga-bunga", "sakit hati", "herzschmerz"*, "herzblatt"*, etc. etc.

You might be puzzled on how I link amputation with brain and heart? Well pardon me for having a jumping mind.

Coincidentally I saw a video this evening, telling me that jellyfish does not have a brain.
A man in the video said, how unfortunate it is to be a jellyfish. Happiness and sadness would never be a matter for jellyfish because it can't feel such emotion anyway. It's just simply a loss for never be able to know what happiness is.
On the contrary, the girl in the video said, how fortunate it is to be a jellyfish. It's just simply a bless for never be able to know what sadness is.

I wish I could always stay in this position, where I agree with the man, that jellyfish is so unfortunate. Because then I know, and will always know what happiness is.

*thanks, popcorn ^^